The following is a guest post by Losing Brownies

Did you know that 80% of women get the “baby blues” after their babies are born? (1) Of those women, 10-20% will suffer from Post Partum Depression (2) and those who have a history of depression, anxiety, panic, obsessive behavior, or mania have a higher risk of being affected. (3)

I was one of those women.

I knew with my past struggles with anxiety and depression that I needed to be prepared for this. After my son’s birth and my inability to enjoy my baby, I knew it was time to seek out help before it got worse.

My feelings of inadequately steamed from my labor and delivery and the month after The Boy’s birth.

My birth did not go as planned. I had hoped for a natural birth at a hospital with a Certified Nurse Midwife. I did my research. I knew what I wanted. I had a birth plan all typed up and gave several copies to the staff.

I was induced at 41 weeks. My water broke and I was having strong contractions. After 7 hours I agreed to some I.V. pain meds so I could sleep and prepare for the big push. After 14 hours I begged for an epidural. Soon after I developed a fever and they started monitoring The Boy. 16 hours after my water broke The Boy’s heart rate sky rocketed. They could not get my fever down and it was determined that they needed to get him out as soon as possible. Not half an hour latter my husband was rushing out of the OR with my baby so they could put him on I.V. antibiotics.

I didn’t get to hold my child after birth. I was not the first person to see, touch, or even feed him. In fact it was a full five hours later before I got to see my son through a glass observation window.

I felt like a failure. I didn’t feel like I gave birth, I felt as though he was ripped from me because I had done something wrong. My body had failed. I cried in recovery as each of my family members came to tell me how beautiful my son was. I cried at every painful movement from the surgery. It was a constant reminder of what I wasn’t able to do.

Things got worse within myself. Nothing my husband or other family members could say helped. I felt worse for them because I felt like I was letting them down too.

I struggled with breastfeeding and blamed myself for selfishly getting a breast reduction when I was 19 and not being able to feed my baby without supplementing formula. I wanted The Boy on the breast so I used different supplementation that allowed for the formula to “come from” the breast via SNS (4).

My C/S incision split open and an infection developed in my uterus and landed me back in the hospital before The Boy was a week old.

I was crying at the drop of a hat and didn’t feel like a successful mother. I swore I’d never have another child.

I felt like I let my husband down because I wasn’t happy. When he looked at me, I thought he was disappointed, when in reality he was feeling helpless because he couldn’t make me feel happy or as though I was a successful mother.

Those feelings were my cue that I did need help.

I had spoken about the fear of PPD with my primary doctor when I first found out I was pregnant. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for years and I knew I was at a higher risk for PPD. I had a plan in place if I needed it, which I’m glad I did, because I did need it. All I would need to do was call her and she would help me.

When I was readmitted to the hospital for the infection, I discussed with the doctor what my primary and I had talked about and he agreed that medication was the right direction to go in. I also was able to talk to someone about my traumatic birth and was referred to a pediatrician who was also a lactation counselor.

It took a few months for me to see that I wasn’t a failure. I brought into this world a precious life. The Boy is the light of my life. He brings so much joy to me and my husband. We are even talking about having another one in the next year or two.

I strongly encourage any woman who is suffering with those types of feelings to seek some help. You may or may not need medication, but it never hurts to talk to someone.

About the Author: Losing Brownies is the author of Losing the Baby Weight, One Brownie at a Time; one p/t SAHM’s attempt to record and share the laughter, love and joy (and sometimes rants, tears and fears) of life with a gadget crazed husband, a toddler boy, and a house full of critters all while trying to shed the last few pounds of baby weight that just won’t come off!

Several weeks ago, I often don’t bother getting dressed if I wasn’t going anywhere.  Or if I did, it was an old t-shirt and comfy pants.  Sometimes I just thought it was pointless… I think many stay-at-home moms fall into this rut.  Many mornings we are too tired or apathetic to try and piece together an outfit.  I finally decided that it’s worth the trouble to get dressed.

Why bother?

I feel better about myself.  I realized that when I get dressed in the morning (usually during the baby’s morning nap), I automatically have a more positive attitude about my body.  I think this is especially important for women in the postpartum stage of life.  Feeling  good about how your body looks after it has changed can be difficult.  It’s amazing how a nice outfit and quick brush through the hair can make such a difference in body image.

I am more productive.  Once I’ve taken the time to get dressed, I am less likely to lounge around the house and be lazy.  Taking the initiative in one area of life encourages me to try and accomplish more than just the minimum.  I have a much cleaner (or at least picked up) house if I get out of my pajamas!

I know my husband appreciates it.  Even though my husband thinks I’m beautiful when I think I look awful, I know he would rather not come home from work to see me wearing the same thing I was in when he left. Men are visual and enjoy to see their wives dressed nicely, even if they are understanding when we don’t take the time to dress.

Do you struggle with getting dressed every day?  What helps you get out of the pj wearing rut?